The Pinoy Chuva

November 16, 2009

LIPAT BAHAY!

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 3:35 pm

Ang Pinoy Chuva nag-evolve na po na parang Pokemon lang. Bisitahin ang bagong bahay ng mga nakakabaliw na balita sa HTTP://BALIWBALITA.i.PH

October 8, 2009

Hidden Mikey, GMA’s Ratings, and Other Stories

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 12:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
The Case of the Hidden Mikey…Arroyo

Brownouts hit Marikina, Mandaluyong, Pasig, and some areas in Quezon City, San Juan, and Rizal. According to Meralco, a transformer of the National Grid Corp. caught fire and thus resulting in the blackouts. As soon as press got hold of this news, the President’s son Mikey Arroyo has immediately denied allegations that he was in a liquor store during the incident.

Our chikadora, a survivor from the Ondoy devastation, managed to get a statement from Mikey Arroyo:

Mikey: “Hindi po ako bumili ng alak during the brownout. Promise! You can even talk to my lawyers.”

Tubig!!!

Due to the Typhoon Ondoy, residents in Ayala Alabang, Muntinlupa has been having water problems. Maynilad Water Services Inc. promises of full water supply by this weekend as they have been working round the clock on the filtration plant and deepwells which was damaged by Typhoon Ondoy. Maynilad however denied allegations that they have recruited children to assist them in repairs.

Our social-climbing chikadora has obtain an unreliable press release from Manynilad:

“Maynilad Water Services Inc. is aware of reports circulating around Ayala Alabang Village and denies that we have been involved in child labor. Please be informed that Tang Orange Juice will not be flowing out of your faucets. As in, wala po talaga!”

Gloria and SWS #1

SWS has just released a new survey on Arroyo’s satisfaction survey. Survey results show, Arroyo’s rating seemed to recede faster than the flood in Malabon, Marikina, Pasig, Rizal. and Laguna.

Gloria and SWS #2

A Pinoy Chuva volunteer Chikadora was able to gather unconfirmed text messages which were forwarded by her tsismosang kapitbahay. The following text messages are immediate responses to GMA’s latest satisfaction survey:

Mikey: “Ma, don’t believe the survey. This is another malicious attack on you. It is so depressing. Kung gusto nila, let them talk to our lawyers.”

Mar: “Alam ko na ayaw mo sa akin. Pero hayaan mo sabihin ko sa iyo na I can relate to your low survey score. Napagdaanan ko na yan. ‘Ramdam ko kayo’.

Alberto Romulo #1: “I am supporting you, Noynoy.”

Cesar Mancao: “And now, the end is near…”

Alberto Romulo #2: “Ma’am it was a wrong send. What I wanted to say was, I will support you until the end of your term. Kahit 2010 pa!”

Martin Romualdez: “Ma’am, let’s just have dinner at Le Cirque. It’s on me. I heard the steak is good enough to make you forget your problems.”

Prospero Pichay: “Ma’am, ang survey sa Metro Manila lang at ABS-CBN ramdam. Maybe the next survey you’ll get five or six percent.”

Gibo Teodoro: “Ma’am, we can just probably say that your devastating ratings was caused by Ondoy.”

Bayani Fernando: “I can probably help you bring your ratings up. Pero, gawin mo muna akong VP ni Gibo.”

Noy-Mar Live In Negros Sen. Noynoy Aquino and Sen. Mar Roxas were welcomed in Negros Occidental last Thursday. The Noy-Mar tandem was overwhelmed by the crowd and even signed autographs and even posed for pictures.

Our fly-by-night chikadora asked around Negros how they felt on seeing Noy-Mar. Here are some of the responses received:

1. “Sabi kasi sa amin darating si Aquino at may show daw. Akala naman namin si Kris.”

2. “Nasaan sina Papa Piolo, Marian, at Baby James?”

3. “Sayang, akala namin may pa-premyo na padyak!”

4. “Hindi kasi nag-Papantene si Noynoy. Tsk!”

_______________________________________________________________________

Personal Note:

I’m definitely back. I had to temporarily cease poking fun and help out in relief efforts for victims of typhoon Ondoy. Hope everyone will remain safe. Kaya natin ‘to!

October 2, 2009

Waiting For Pepeng

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 6:40 am

So, hindi na talaga mapipigil at ayaw talagang magpapigil ni Typhoon Pepeng. Para lang yang si Pichay na hindi nagpapigil na magpaparty habang lahat ng tao ay nagpapakahirap na tumulong sa mga biktima ni Ondoy. Pero nagpapasamalat na rin ako at hindi naipangalan kay Pichay ang bagyong paparating at kung hindi baka mas malaking delubyo ang mangyari.

Since paparating na rin lang naman si Pepeng, dapat na tayong maghanda kung sakaling malaking kapahamakan ang maidulot niya sa ating bansa. Heto ang ilang mga bagay na dapat natin gawin habang winewelcome natin si Pepeng:

Inside your home:

1)Prepare an emergency personal kit using ‘timba’ or ‘orocan’ and should contain at least the ff:

a. candles and matches
b. flashlight/ rechargeable lamps
c. batteries
d. ready-to-eat meals (biscuits, canned goods, doy pack meals, spreads, bread)
e. first aid essentials
*Agua Oxinada (wound cleanser) or Betadine
*Band-aid
*Medicines (Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, Loperamide, Neozep or Decolgen, Antihistamine, Oral Rehydration Salts, and prescribed medicines by your doctor)
Multivitamins (preferrably vitamin C)
f. extra clothes
g. bottled water
h. blankets
i. transistor radio

2)  Have enough cash for emergency use. Withdraw cash if needed.

3) Recharge your mobile phones and conserve the battery. Use only for important text messages or phone calls. Also, save these emergency and rescue numbers on your mobile phone:

National Disaster Coordinating Council (NDCC) Emergency Numbers:
912-5668
911-1406
912-2665
911-5061

Philippine National Red Cross
143
527-0000

MMDA
136

Philippine Coast Guard
527-6136

Meralco
16211
0917-5592824
0920-9292824

NRCPO (rubber boat requests)
838-3303

DZMM
DZMM<space>React  and send to 2366

DZBB
Super<space>BB<space>comment<space>name and send to 2299

4) Develop and create an emergency family plan.

5) Make sure to turn off the main power supply and unplug and secure all power cords.

6) Make sure the gas tank is off.

7) Turn the refrigerator and freezer to the highest setting as power supply can be interrupted during a storm.

8) Store essential items in waterproof storage (i.e. passport, birth cerftificate, ATM, ID, etc.)

9) Move electronic items (i.e. laptop, stereo, DVD player, etc.) to a place where it can’t be reached by water.

Outside your home:

1) Secure your windows.

2) Bring in any outdoor item that can be blown away and cause damage or injury

3) Clean gutters and drainages and remove any item that can prevent water flow.

4) Never go out during a storm. Storms with very strong winds can tear roofs, uproot trees, damage electric wires, etc. Stay indoors and stay safe.

The only thing to do in and out of your home:

1) Pray for safety and pray for others.

September 27, 2009

Ways on How You Can Help Victims of Typhoon Ondoy

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 2:34 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

manila-floods-608

Things you may want to donate:

1) Bottled Water
2) Instant Noodles (preferrably in bowl packaging like Nissin or Lucky Me)
3) Canned Goods w/ pull tab cover (no can opener available in relief centers)
4) Bread or Biscuits
5) Coffee or Juice
6) Multivitamins (preferrably Vitamin C)
7) Medicines (Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, Loperamide, Betadine)
8) Blankets
9) Old but wearable clothes
10) Slippers/ Flip flops
11) Alcohol
12) Some organizations will accept cash donations.
13) Anti-mosquito Lotion

For babies/toddlers:
14) Diapers
15) Milk/ Infant Formula

For USA Residents:
1) Help in the typhoon relief effort by calling ABS-CBN Foundation USA toll-free 1-800-527-2820

2) American Red Cross call 1-800-435-7669

For those near ABS-CBN:
Help pack relief goods at Sagip Kapamilya at #13 Examiner St. They are also looking for people willing to go to provinces and distribute the goods.

For those near The Philippine Daily Inquirer Office or a McDonald’s Branch:
Go to: 1098 Chino Roces Ave. cor. Mascardo and Yague Streets, Makati City or to any of its classified ads branches and to any Mcdonald’s Branch within Metro Manila
Hotline: 8978808 loc.260 and look for Megi Garcia

For the Cebuanos who want to help:
Please click on the link>> Living For A Cause

For those near a La Salle School:
(OPLAN: Sagip Metro) DLSZ (Ayala Alabang, Muntinlupa) and LSGH (Greenhills) are now accepting relief goods and looking for volunteers from 8am to 6pm. DLSU- Manila (Taft Avenue) will accept relief goods as early as 8:00 A.M. at South Gate

For those near Ateneo De Manila:
Go To: Ateneo de Manila University, Loyola Heights , Quezon City
Manuel V. Pangilinan Building Center for Student Leadership Lobby
University Dorm Cervini Hall

Hotlines: 09089977166, 09178952792, 4266001 local 5050

Operations: 24-hours operations for the entire week.

For those near a Petron Station or 2Go Branches:
Visit any Petron or 2GO Branches to drop off your donations.

The Philippine National Red Cross:

Monetary Donations           

1.  CASH or CHECK
Please send cash or check donations to the PNRC National Headquarters in Manila. Checks should be made payable to The Philippine National Red Cross.  We can also arrange for donation pick-up.

2.  BANK DEPOSIT
Account Name:  The Phil. Nat’l. Red Cross

    METROBANK
    Port Area Branch
    Peso Acct.: 151-3-041-63122-8
    Dollar Acct.: 151-2-151-00218-2
    Type of Acct. : SAVINGS
    Swift Code: MBTC PH MM

    BANK OF THE PHIL. ISLANDS

    Port Area Branch
    Peso Acct.:  4991-0010-99
    Type of Account: CURRENT

    BANK OF THE PHIL. ISLANDS
    UN Branch
    Dollar Acct.: 8114-0030-94
    Type of Account: SAVINGS
    Swift Code:  BOPI PH MM
   
For your donations to be properly acknowledged, please fax the bank transaction slip at nos. +63.2.527.0575 or +63.2.404.0979 with your name, address and contact number.

Credit Card               

Please fax the following info to +632.404.09.79 and +632.527.0575:

Name of card member, billing address, contact nos. (phone & mobile), credit card no., expiration date, CCV2/ CVC2 (last three digits at the back of the credit card), billing address, amount to be donated.

For online donations you may also visit our website at http://www.redcross.org.ph  .

In-Kind Donations           

LOCAL
Please send in-kind local donations to The Philippine National Red Cross – National Headquarters in Manila.  We could also arrange for donation pick-up.

INTERNATIONAL

  1. Send a letter of intent to donate to the PNRC
  2. A letter of acceptance from PNRC shall be sent back to the donor
  3. Immediately after shipping the goods, please send the (a) original Deed of Donation, (b) copy of packing list and (c) original Airway Bill for air shipments or Bill of Lading for sea shipments to The Philippine National Red Cross–National Headquarters c/o Secretary General Gwendolyn Pang, Bonifacio Drive, Port Area, Manila 2803, Philippines.

The PNRC does not accept rotten, damaged, expired or decayed goods.  Though we appreciate your generosity, the PNRC also discourages donations of old clothes as we have more than enough to go around.

Other Ways You Can Help:
1) Visit a branch of the Philippine National Red Cross and volunteer. You can also send donations using your mobile phone: text RED <space> AMOUNT and send to 2899 (GLOBE/TM) and 4483 (SMART/ TNT). Globe is accepting P300 txt donation through G-Cash text DONATE<space>AMOUNT<space>4-digit M-PIN<space>REDCROSS to 2882

2) Visit Citizens Disaster Response Center (CDRC)
Go To:
72-A Times St., West Triangle Homes , QC
Hotlines: 9299820, 9299822
Operations: 8 a.m. onwards.

3)Radio Veritas
Go To: Veritas Tower , West Ave. cor EDSA
Look For: Karla Turingan
Hotlines: 9257931 to 39, 0918VERITAS
Operations: 24-hours, tentatively until Tuesday.

4) Victory Fellowship- Fort Bonifacio
Go to: Victory Fellowship, Every Nation Building , across from Market-Market, Fort Bonifacio
Look for: Pastor Bernard Marquez
Hotlines: 813-FORT, 8171212
Operations: Tentatively until 5pm may may extend hours. Entire week until Friday.
Website: http://www.twitter.com/VictoryFort

5) Tulong Bayan
Go to: Balay Expo Center, EDSA (northbound) cor. Gen McArthur, Araneta Center (right across Samson College) or visit WhiteSpace 2314 Pasong Tamo Ext. beside Faith Christian School
Hotline: 09175273906/ 09086579998/ 9137122/ 9136254/ 9133306
Operations: Come as early as 8:00 a.m.
Open to volunteers/ cash and goods donation

6) World Vision Philippines
Go to: Quezon Avenue (near Delta Theatre)
Open to volunteers/ cash and goods donation

7) Corporate Network for Disaster Response
How to: Donate cash through BPI Ayala-Paseo Branch with account number 0031 0654 02

8) Luzon Relief
Go to: Renaissance Fitness Center, 2F, Bramante Bldg., Renaissance Towers, Ortigas, Meralco Ave., Pasig City
Hotline: 0929-8713488
Operations: 9am to 7pm Daily
Open to volunteers/goods donation

9) Brainbeam Events
Go to: 2F MB Aguirre Cornerhouse Bldg 15, President Ave. cor Elizalde St. BF Pque. Across old Caltex
Goods donation

September 25, 2009

The Singing Witness and Jukebox Hits

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 10:11 am

  Cesar Mancao: The Singing Witness

Cezar Mancao refuses to recant his testimony against former President Joseph Estrada and Senantor Ping Lacson. Mancao reiterates that Estrada and Lacson had something to do with the Dacer-Corbito double murder.

 

Our chikadora, also a videoke master, tried to get an interview with Cesar Mancao. Mr. Mancao refused and stated that he will hold a press conference at Red Box KTV.

 

 

 

Songs Newsmakers Would Choose in a KTV (part 1)

 

Cesar Mancao would like to dedicate to Erap and Ping: My Way (Frank Sinatra)

 

“I faced it all and I stood tall; And did it my way.”

 

Ping Lacson’s Message to Erap and Jinggoy: Tukso (Eva Eugenio)

 

“Ngunit kung kaya ko. Ako ay hindi padadaig. Sa tuksong kayrami nang Winasak na damdamin!”

 

Erap’s Counter-Message to Ping: Nakapagtataka (Hajji Alejandro)

 

“Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking pag-iisip. Mula nang tayo’y nagpasyang maghiwalay.”

 

Silvestre Bello III  and what he  would like to say to the Administration and Noynoy Aquino: Sana Dalawa Ang Puso Ko (Bodjie’s Law of Gravity)

 

“Para bang tukso na ‘di ko kayang matalo. Isip ko’y lito, walang mapili sa inyo”

 

Alberto Romulo’s text message to Noynoy Aquino:We Are A Family (Dreamgirls)

 

“This dream is for us. This one can be real. They can’t stop us now. Because of how we feel”

 

Administration’s subtle Message to Alberto Romulo: Bakit Papa! (Sexbomb Girls)

 

“Dati-rati ang sweet-sweet natin . Oras-oras ika’y na sa ‘kin. Bakit nga ba pinaasa-asa . Kaya ngayo’y naloloka!”

 

Bayani Fernando’s plea to Lakas- KAMPI- CMD: Kahit Konting Pagtingin (Sharon Cuneta)

 

“Kahit konting pagtingin. Kung manggagaling sa ‘yo. Ay labis ko nang ligaya”

 

Bayani Fernando’s plea to Gibo Teodoro: Why Can’t It Be? (Rannie Raymundo)

 

“Why can’t it be? Why can’t it be the two of us?”

 

Hermogenes Ebdane’s message to people who are asking why he has considered running for the Presidency: Bakit Ako Mahihiya? (Didith Reyes)

 

“Bakit ako mahihiya? Kung ang puso’y sumisinta?”

 

Gloria Arroyo on 2010: Hold On (Nonoy Zuniga)

 

“Hold on. Just keep on holdin’ on”

 

Gibo Teodoro’s Hopes for Ate Vi: Would You Be My Number 2? (Joe Jackson)

 

“To make a dream or two come true. If you’ll be my…If you’ll be my number two”

 

Gibo Teodoro’s Message Para Tumaas ang Ranking Niya: Ewan (APO Hiking Society)

 

“Mahal kita, mahal kita, hindi ito bola. Sumagot ka naman ‘wag lang … ewan … “

 

Mar Roxas on giving way to Noynoy:  Bituing Walang Ningning (Sharon Cuneta)

 

“Limutin ang mapaglarong kinang ng tagumpay. Sa piling mo ngayon ako’y bituing walang ningning.”

 

Mar Roxas’ message of his undying love to Korina: Tayong Dalawa (Rey Valera)

 

“Maaari bang sana’y patawarin mo ako. Pagkat tayong dalawa ay sa isa’t isa”

 

Manny Villar’s interest on Willie Revillame:

 

“Wowowee panalo ang marami. Pagkat walang talo sa wowowee!”

 

Message of the Filipino People to all 2010 Candidates: Mambobola (Zsa Zsa Padilla)

 

“Humingi ng tawad at ang sabi’y di na mauulit

Ang pusong umiibig ay laging handang magpakasakit

Ngunit di ka pa rin nagbabago

Sa huli bolahin mo na lang ang lelang mo.”

 

September 23, 2009

Romulo Favors Noy and Good News and Bad News

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 10:54 am

Bert Romulo: Message Sent!

Foreign Secretary Alberto Romulo sent a text message expressing his support to Noynoy as a Presidential candidate. This definitely earned the ire of the Arroyo administration and in his defense, Sen. Romulo said that he will continue to serve PGMA until the very last day of her administration.

According to our chikadorang mandedekwat ng cellphone, she was able to read unconfirmed text messages to Secretary Romulo:

Noynoy Aquino: Sori kng nsabi k sa media abt yng txt m. D m kc cnabi na cret. Pro slmat p s sporta 2 d Aquino family. Mar s asking kng suport mo rin siya 4 VP.

Juan Ponce Enrile: F u cnt support GMA, u shld resign! U shld be lyk me. I supported Marcos, then I dnt lyk him, I supported Cory, then I dnt lyk her, [Some Message Missing]

Prospero Pichay: Y support Noynoy?  Alm m 9 yrs kmi 2gether sa Cngrss n he’s not an xcptional lder. Di cya kat2ld k. Nkta m b yng 2007 ad k? C Gibo prang ako. Pwedeng mong itanim sa Malakanyang. Ha (3x)! Get m? Itanim? Ha(3x)! Okay, I’ll stop now.

Gloria: Bert. Dish ish Gloria noh. I’m hapi 2 hear dat u will stay w/ me while I’m still Pres. D question s, when will I go down? LOL! Just joking noh. Di k b nbusog sa Le Cirque?

Gibo Teodoro: <Message Sending Failed!>, <Message Sending Failed!>

Good News and Bad News:

Good News: Puro shading na lang daw ang gagawin sa balota sa darating na halalan. Wala nang sulat, sulat!
Bad News: Yung balota na ibibigay sa iyo, may shade na!

Good News: Ping Lacson, ikinuwento na ang tale of 2 brothers sa part 2 ng kanyang speech sa Senado.
Bad News: Gusto na rin niyang palitan si Ate Charo sa MMK!

Good News: Willie Revillame, hindi raw tatakbo as VP sa 2010.
Bad News: Manny Villar, gustong maging host ng Wowowee!

Good News: Ping Lacson at Joseph Estrada magsasama sa isang pelikula kasama si Jinggoy!
Bad News: Kasama nila sa pelikula si Bubby Dacer, Kuratong Baleleng, at Edgar Bentain. Ang title ng pelikula: Huwag Mong Buhayin Ang Bangkay Part 2!

September 22, 2009

Lacson vs. Mancao and Boy Jumps Ship for Noynoy

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 3:44 pm

Mancao: Don’t Lie To Me! Aminin!

 Ferdinand Topacio, the lawyer of Cezar Mancao II, dared Sen. Panfilo Lacson to take lie-detector tests. Sen. Lacson has stated that Atty. Topacio and former President Estrada have joined forces to prove that Lacson was to blame for the murders of Salvador “Bubby” Dacer and Emmanuel Corbito.

A Pinoy Churva chikadora received an unofficial and unaccounted statement made by Atty. Topacio while the chikadora was eating fish ball and sago’t gulaman. The statement read: “Magpa-lie detector test na kami para magkaalaman na who is telling the truth. In fact, we have invited to John Lapus to do his Buwis-Buhay dance routine during the tests.”

Oh, Boy!

Boy Abunda has reportedly abandoned the campaign of Sen. Manny Villar for President. Our chikadora also an usisero claims that an audition for a new PR Manager is currently being prepared by the Villar’s camp. Our chikadora has obtained an unofficial list of auditionees for Boy Abunda’s replacement:

1) Lolit Solis
PR Campaign: “Nakita ko si Noy at Mar na magkaholding hands sa may poolside ng Sofitel Hotel.”

2) Cristy Fermin
PR Campaign: “Base sa sinabi ni Ping Lacson mga kaibigan, tahasan ko pong sasabihin na sinungaling na siya ay inconsistent pa.”

3) Jobert Sucaldito
    PR Campaign: “Bet mo ba ang pag-usapan ka dahil sa cucumber?” (I-research!)

4) John Lapus
    PR Campaign: “Bibisita ka sa Showbiz Central, tapos ikakabit ka namin sa lie-detector machine.Tapos pag lie, sasayaw ako.”

5) Mo Twister:
    PR Campaign: “How about you guesting on my radio show? All you have to do is answer these questions:
        a. What is the better TV Station, GMA 7 or ABs-CBN 2?
        b. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
        c. Which senator has the worst B.O.?
        d. Who’s the best kisser in the Senate?
        e. Have you ever hit on your secretary?
        f. Who in the Senate is the most plastic person?
        g. Senators or Celebs you tried flirting with?

6) Willie Revillame:
    PR Campaign: “Mag-guest ka sa Wowowee tapos sabihin natin napadaan ka lang. Tapos yung mga contestants pwede siguro yung staff mo o yung mga makakasama mo sa partido kung gusto mo sa Willie of Fortune para may dagdag na cash prize. Basta may donation na P2 million. Tapos kapag may nag-insert sa staff ko ng ibang kandidato na hindi niyo kasama sa partido, magagalit ako on-air.”

7) Annabelle Rama:
    PR Campaign: “Ay naku Dong! Pag hindi ka nilagay ni Wilma Galvante sa Primetime tatawag tayo ng presscon!”

September 21, 2009

Willie as VP, Mar Loves Noy, and Mikey A.

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 5:11 am

The Good and Bad News on Willie Revillame

Good News: Willie Revillame babalik na sa Wowowee!
Bad News: Si Manny Villar na ang host at si Willie na ang co-host!

Good News: Willie Revillame may pasabog sa pagbabalik niya sa Wowowee.
Bad News: Tatakbo raw siya bilang Vice-President!

Good News: Willie Revillame nag-promise na hindi siya mangungurakot kapag siya ay naging Vice-President.
Bad News: Bibigyan na lang siya ng P2 million donation ni Manny Villar!

Good News: Willie Revillame to take-over housing program of Noli De Castro if he wins!
Bad News: Lahat ng gustong makabahay sasali muna sa Wowowee!

Good News: Joey De Leon hindi na magsasalita tungkol sa planong pagkandidato ni Willie Revillame.
Bad News: Isusulat na lang daw niya sa The Philippine Star!

In An Unreliable Press Release on Willie Revillame:

Willie Revillame is considering to run for Vice-President and this is according to our resident mahjongera ang sugarol na ka-village ni Willie Revillame. According to the mahjongera, she heard that one of Willie’s projects should he win would be the improvement on the yearly allocation of the government budgets. Instead of long hearings, the budget will depend on the ‘laman’ of the bayong with matching dance number from Saicy and Luningning. Winner!

Noy and Mar: Twogether!

1) Mar Roxas has finally accepted the offer of NoyNoy Aquino to be his VP in the 2010 elections. Meanwhile, the press is still waiting for Korina Sanchez to make an official announcement that she will be giving way to Shalani Soledad as First Lady.

2) While Mr. Palengke was making his official announcement, some people observed that Korina Sanchez has been standing near the buffet table. According to some unreliable sources, she was guarding the food from RG Cruz.

3) In an uncofirmed press release, our chikadora has gained information that if Noynoy Aquino and Mar Roxas win the 2010 elections, Kris Aquino and Korina Sanchez will share the role of Press Secretary with live show everyday starting at 10:30AM. Kiko Pangilinan will have to settle as MTRCB or VRB chairman with Sharon Cuneta as adviser.

Rejected Party Slogans for Noynoy Aquino and Mar Roxas Tandem

1) Noy and Mar: Sabay Tayo! (Taken from Pido Dida)

2) Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal: Noynoy for President! Mar for VP!

3) Pilipinas, Game KNB?

4) SNN: Si Noynoy Ngayon… Si Mar May Bukas Pa!

5) Noy and Mar: Kambal sa Kiyeme

6) Patayin Sa Sindak si Gloria!

7) So… Happy Together! (i-research niyo kung bakit!)

Mikey Arroyo and His Promise

Mikey Arroyo promises that there will be no brownout during the 2010 polls and the Arroyo administration would not need emergency powers to stop the power crisis. When asked if they have a backup plan should brownouts occur, Mikey quickly responded and said “Just talk to my lawyers.” 

September 16, 2009

Why Korina Sanchez is Imbyerna

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 7:23 am

Dance Korina DanceAng Balita Ayon sa mga Tsismosa sa Tindahan ni Aling Nene: Ex-Future First Lady Korina Sanchez na-Kornihan sa mga Chika ni RG Cruz sa Facebook. Ayon sa blog ni Marichu C. Lambino, naimbyerna ang Lola Korina dahil sa mga iniispluk na mga chorva ni RG Cruz at inireport niya ang mga shoutouts sa pamamagitan ng pagliham sa management ng ABS-CBN. Hindi makapaniwala si Ate Koring sa mga pangyayari at hindi niya malaman kung bakit wiz siya bet ng echoserang si RG. Sabi rin ni her ex-future first lady na mga echoserang mga tsu-tsu sa ABS-CBN ang tsumika sa kanya tungkol sa mga shoutouts. Anyways, tinanong ng aming chikadora, na ngayon ay umaasensong kahera ng tindahan na tinatambayan ng mga tsimosang nag-ispluk sa amin, kung ano ang take nila sa isyu at kung bakit pinatulan ni Ate Koring ang chakang isyu with RG at eto ang kanilang mga haka-haka at feelings sa isyu:

1.) Wit na bet i-add si RG Cruz as Facebook friend si Ate Koring kaya sumama ang loob.

2.) Ayaw i-add na neigbor ni RG Cruz si Ate Koring sa Farmville.

3.) Magka-Barn Buddy sila pero laging ninakawan ni Ate Koring ng harvest si RG kaya imbyernadette si RG.

4.) Isang team lang sila sa Mafia pero nag-declare ng War With Korina si RG dahil ayaw siya padalhan ng wiretap device.

5.) Laging natatalo ni RG Cruz si Ex-Future Lady sa Poker at lagi raw siya sinasabihan na “Korina you’re such a loser.”

6.) Inggit si Ate Koring dahil Plantation na si RG sa Farmville habang yung sa kanila ni Mar ay 14×14 lang.

7.) Ilang beses na raw siya nag-poke kay RG hindi man lang daw mag-poke back.

8.) Lagi raw kasi offline si RG sa chat sa Facebook.

9.) Ayaw raw kasi sagutan ni RG ang “Top 5 Reasons Why Korina Sanchez Should Be The Next First Lady” sa Living Social.

10.) Korina:  “Ha? Ano yung Facebook? Kaya pala hindi siya nagpaparamdam sa Friendster.”

September 15, 2009

The Senator Who Cried Wolf…or The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing… Basta May Wolf at Sheep

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 7:52 am

Once upon a privilege speech there was a senator wolf named Ping. Ping is a very tough senator and has been accused to abuse his toughness (i.e. Kuratong, Bubby Dacer, etc.- but these are other stories).  He has cried wolf a couple times and has exposed many wolves due to his speeches.

One day, Ping heard that a wolf named Erap was going to run for President. Ping used to serve Erap, who was once the head wolf, and Ping used to be a trusted wolf of Erap and also made him the chief wolf of the PNP. During Erap’s term as head wolf, there was a loud howl asking other wolves to expose his misdeeds. Wolf Ping never said anything and remained quiet. It was not until a power hungry and gambler wolf Chavit, who prentented to be a lamb, and cried wolf and exposed the head wolf’s involvement in jueteng. A lot of evidences were presented to the Senate Shepherds including a mysterious envelope which caused the head wolf’s ejection from the Presidency and a she-wolf named Gloria came into power (which is another story as well). Former head wolf was incarcerated at his private cage in Tanay, Rizal and was later pardoned by the she-wolf.

Anyways, since former head wolf is seeking to reclaim his lost glory, the wolf senator named Ping has decided to wear his sheep outfit and expose his former boss’ misdeeds. The wolves, the sheeps, and the shepherds ask… why only now? And everyone started to sing Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang Dumating the Pops Fernandez and Freestyle duet version. 

Abangan ang susunod na kabanta (may part 2 raw!).

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