The Pinoy Chuva

October 8, 2009

Hidden Mikey, GMA’s Ratings, and Other Stories

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 12:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
The Case of the Hidden Mikey…Arroyo

Brownouts hit Marikina, Mandaluyong, Pasig, and some areas in Quezon City, San Juan, and Rizal. According to Meralco, a transformer of the National Grid Corp. caught fire and thus resulting in the blackouts. As soon as press got hold of this news, the President’s son Mikey Arroyo has immediately denied allegations that he was in a liquor store during the incident.

Our chikadora, a survivor from the Ondoy devastation, managed to get a statement from Mikey Arroyo:

Mikey: “Hindi po ako bumili ng alak during the brownout. Promise! You can even talk to my lawyers.”

Tubig!!!

Due to the Typhoon Ondoy, residents in Ayala Alabang, Muntinlupa has been having water problems. Maynilad Water Services Inc. promises of full water supply by this weekend as they have been working round the clock on the filtration plant and deepwells which was damaged by Typhoon Ondoy. Maynilad however denied allegations that they have recruited children to assist them in repairs.

Our social-climbing chikadora has obtain an unreliable press release from Manynilad:

“Maynilad Water Services Inc. is aware of reports circulating around Ayala Alabang Village and denies that we have been involved in child labor. Please be informed that Tang Orange Juice will not be flowing out of your faucets. As in, wala po talaga!”

Gloria and SWS #1

SWS has just released a new survey on Arroyo’s satisfaction survey. Survey results show, Arroyo’s rating seemed to recede faster than the flood in Malabon, Marikina, Pasig, Rizal. and Laguna.

Gloria and SWS #2

A Pinoy Chuva volunteer Chikadora was able to gather unconfirmed text messages which were forwarded by her tsismosang kapitbahay. The following text messages are immediate responses to GMA’s latest satisfaction survey:

Mikey: “Ma, don’t believe the survey. This is another malicious attack on you. It is so depressing. Kung gusto nila, let them talk to our lawyers.”

Mar: “Alam ko na ayaw mo sa akin. Pero hayaan mo sabihin ko sa iyo na I can relate to your low survey score. Napagdaanan ko na yan. ‘Ramdam ko kayo’.

Alberto Romulo #1: “I am supporting you, Noynoy.”

Cesar Mancao: “And now, the end is near…”

Alberto Romulo #2: “Ma’am it was a wrong send. What I wanted to say was, I will support you until the end of your term. Kahit 2010 pa!”

Martin Romualdez: “Ma’am, let’s just have dinner at Le Cirque. It’s on me. I heard the steak is good enough to make you forget your problems.”

Prospero Pichay: “Ma’am, ang survey sa Metro Manila lang at ABS-CBN ramdam. Maybe the next survey you’ll get five or six percent.”

Gibo Teodoro: “Ma’am, we can just probably say that your devastating ratings was caused by Ondoy.”

Bayani Fernando: “I can probably help you bring your ratings up. Pero, gawin mo muna akong VP ni Gibo.”

Noy-Mar Live In Negros Sen. Noynoy Aquino and Sen. Mar Roxas were welcomed in Negros Occidental last Thursday. The Noy-Mar tandem was overwhelmed by the crowd and even signed autographs and even posed for pictures.

Our fly-by-night chikadora asked around Negros how they felt on seeing Noy-Mar. Here are some of the responses received:

1. “Sabi kasi sa amin darating si Aquino at may show daw. Akala naman namin si Kris.”

2. “Nasaan sina Papa Piolo, Marian, at Baby James?”

3. “Sayang, akala namin may pa-premyo na padyak!”

4. “Hindi kasi nag-Papantene si Noynoy. Tsk!”

_______________________________________________________________________

Personal Note:

I’m definitely back. I had to temporarily cease poking fun and help out in relief efforts for victims of typhoon Ondoy. Hope everyone will remain safe. Kaya natin ‘to!

October 2, 2009

Waiting For Pepeng

Filed under: Uncategorized — thepinoychuva @ 6:40 am

So, hindi na talaga mapipigil at ayaw talagang magpapigil ni Typhoon Pepeng. Para lang yang si Pichay na hindi nagpapigil na magpaparty habang lahat ng tao ay nagpapakahirap na tumulong sa mga biktima ni Ondoy. Pero nagpapasamalat na rin ako at hindi naipangalan kay Pichay ang bagyong paparating at kung hindi baka mas malaking delubyo ang mangyari.

Since paparating na rin lang naman si Pepeng, dapat na tayong maghanda kung sakaling malaking kapahamakan ang maidulot niya sa ating bansa. Heto ang ilang mga bagay na dapat natin gawin habang winewelcome natin si Pepeng:

Inside your home:

1)Prepare an emergency personal kit using ‘timba’ or ‘orocan’ and should contain at least the ff:

a. candles and matches
b. flashlight/ rechargeable lamps
c. batteries
d. ready-to-eat meals (biscuits, canned goods, doy pack meals, spreads, bread)
e. first aid essentials
*Agua Oxinada (wound cleanser) or Betadine
*Band-aid
*Medicines (Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, Loperamide, Neozep or Decolgen, Antihistamine, Oral Rehydration Salts, and prescribed medicines by your doctor)
Multivitamins (preferrably vitamin C)
f. extra clothes
g. bottled water
h. blankets
i. transistor radio

2)  Have enough cash for emergency use. Withdraw cash if needed.

3) Recharge your mobile phones and conserve the battery. Use only for important text messages or phone calls. Also, save these emergency and rescue numbers on your mobile phone:

National Disaster Coordinating Council (NDCC) Emergency Numbers:
912-5668
911-1406
912-2665
911-5061

Philippine National Red Cross
143
527-0000

MMDA
136

Philippine Coast Guard
527-6136

Meralco
16211
0917-5592824
0920-9292824

NRCPO (rubber boat requests)
838-3303

DZMM
DZMM<space>React  and send to 2366

DZBB
Super<space>BB<space>comment<space>name and send to 2299

4) Develop and create an emergency family plan.

5) Make sure to turn off the main power supply and unplug and secure all power cords.

6) Make sure the gas tank is off.

7) Turn the refrigerator and freezer to the highest setting as power supply can be interrupted during a storm.

8) Store essential items in waterproof storage (i.e. passport, birth cerftificate, ATM, ID, etc.)

9) Move electronic items (i.e. laptop, stereo, DVD player, etc.) to a place where it can’t be reached by water.

Outside your home:

1) Secure your windows.

2) Bring in any outdoor item that can be blown away and cause damage or injury

3) Clean gutters and drainages and remove any item that can prevent water flow.

4) Never go out during a storm. Storms with very strong winds can tear roofs, uproot trees, damage electric wires, etc. Stay indoors and stay safe.

The only thing to do in and out of your home:

1) Pray for safety and pray for others.

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