In the news # 1: Malacanang has cancelled the trip of PGMA to New York. Arroyo was scheduled to attend the 64th session of the UN General Assembly. Cerge Remonde has denied that the postponement was not due to the public outrage of the infamous Le Cirque dinner and did not disclose the actual reason for the cancellation of the New York trip. An unreliable chikadora disclosed some of the reasons why the trip was cancelled:
1. Arroyo is scared that The New York Post may again report of her dinners in New York.
2. Martin Romualdez refused to foot another Us$20,000.00 bill.
3. The Arroyo delegation backed-out when they learned that they will be having dinner at a hot dog stand. They also got worried that breakfast will be served in styro packs.
4. The Arroyo delegation backed-out when they learned that Chickenjoy with spaghetti will be served for their dinner at a US Jollibee outlet. Brownies from Goldilocks will be given as dessert.
5. Since PGMA will travel to Saudi Arabia, the delegation had this sudden urge to try Shawarma.
6. Diet daw si PGMA.
In the news #2: Arroyo spokesperson Gary Olivar said that Presidential aspirants should not portray the 2010 elections as a battle between good and evil and reiterates that Mrs. Arroyo had done her best the country in last 8 years. In response to this statement, the opposition has temporarily agreed to unite. The opposition has decided to consult a psychic and summon the ghost of Christmas past and request that it take Gary Olivar and Mrs. Arroyo on a tour on the so-called 8 best years.
In Other Unreliable Press Releases:
1) In efforts to boost ratings, at the same time help cut cost and help voters to decide, competing networks ABS-CBN and GMA are planning to create reality based TV shows just for the 2010 elections. ABS-CBN plans to bring the Presidential wannabees in “Bahay ni Kuya” where their every move will be monitored 24/7 by hidden cameras. GMA, on the other hand, plans to fly to the aspirants to a remote island and group them into tribes. The COMELEC is still undecided which proposal to accept.
2) Our unreliable chikadora claims that Willie Revillame might have a special role in the 2010 elections. Should the 2010 automated elections fail, a special Hep! Hep! Hooray! episode will be done to identify the clear winner of the election. Eat Bulaga has volunteered Pinoy Henyo as an alternative.